Heart of Darkness

“You haven’t left yet.” Suddenly the king came walking through the woods just when she was about to go back. Where was she supposed to leave? “You shouldn’t be alone here in the dark.”

“I am not afraid, Your Majesty.”

“You should be,” he said looking around as if afraid something would jump out from the dark. Was he perhaps afraid? She had a hard time believing that with his sword skills that she had seen.

He looked back at her annoyed. His eyes were still red and his lashes wet. Did he come just to look for her?

“Your Majesty…” she wanted to apologize.

“Let’s get back,” He cut her off and walked away. She hurried to follow him, but got did he walk fast with those long legs.

That the road was dark and the ground riddled with stones and roots didn’t help. She stumbled a few times, this time reaching for him to not fall. He grasped her extended hand without looking back and led the way. Roxana was shocked and then her heart danced in her chest.

He was holding her hand! He was holding her!

She felt like a little girl who never touched a man before. His hand grasping hers sent warmth up her arm and settled in her expanding chest. It felt safe and secure. Something she hadn’t felt since she was separated from her family. Once they were out of the woods, he released her immediately leaving her longing for that feeling of safety. She was becoming delusional. This man could be the one to end her life. He was not safe.

He was a confusion in her life that she didn’t need. A dangerous distraction.

Roxana followed him back into the tent, steeling feeling the warmth from when he held her hand. “Get some sleep,” going ahead to lay down. God, she was getting used to this. She went to lay beside him as if she had done it a thousand times.

As she lay there she realized that he did indeed just go out to find her.

“Your Majesty…”

“Rox.” He cut her off again as if afraid of what she would say.

“Yes.”

“You said you were separated from your family.”

“Yes.”

“You wish to find them?”

“More than anything.” She replied.

He was quiet for a moment as he looked up. “You will find them.” He told her with certainty.

She nodded, hoping for the best as well. He was probably thinking of his family since he brought up hers. She wanted to give him a reason to talk about them if he wanted to.

“Your Majesty, may I ask about your family?”

A long silence followed, and he blinked a few times, almost as if stopping tears that she couldn’t see. When the silence remained a little more she thought he wished not to talk about it, but then he spoke. “They were murdered.” He said.

An eerie silence settled in the air, where even her breathing and heart seemed to seize.

Mu-murdered? Oh Lord, heavenly father.

Losing your parents was already painful enough, but to know they were killed… she couldn’t imagine the pain.

“It was a long time ago.” He said as if comforting her. Or himself.

“I am sorry.” She murmured.

“You will be happy when you find your family.”

She would be the happiest. It has been the thing that kept her fighting, that one day, it would all be worth it.

Alexander turned away from her to sleep. She watched his back, a new unfamiliar feeling growing in her chest. She closed her eyes, not liking this new feeling. Nothing mattered as long she found her family.

The dawn arrived sooner than she anticipated. She looked around in the tent, still feeling tired and with sore muscles. Alexander was already gone and she hurried to get up. The sound of hooves and soldiers speaking came from outside. Leaving the tent she found everyone preparing to leave.

“Rox!” Gary came to her side and gave her still groggy mind instructions for the rest of the journey. They would arrive at the border today and meet the king of Vrogorn.

As they set for the journey, Roxana felt like her body had taken the worst beating ever. First the fight with Ronny and now this never-ending journey. As usual, the king rode beside the Lords and she rode behind him with Gary and Peter.

Today, he was awfully quiet. He usually spoke a little with the other Lords, but now they talked amongst themselves without him. It remained that way until they arrived at the border and from the distance saw the king of Vrogorn waiting with his guards on the other side.

Gary motioned for her to stop and only the king moved forward with his horse. The king of Vrogorn did the same and they met in the middle. Roxana couldn’t hear what they were talking about but they remained on their horses as they spoke.

“What is happening?” She whispered to Gary without tearing her gaze away from the King.

“They must be negotiating. Sometimes to keep the peace the parties have to offer something or the greedy will prefer war.” He explained. “Oh, it seems they came to an agreement.”

The king turned around and gave them a sign and they all rode forward.

The king of Vrogorn was an old man and as they rode closer and she saw his face, her heart dropped. She knew him. This was her medicine teacher. He seemed to recognize her as well and for a moment she almost fell off her horse and fainted. But her teacher, now king of Vrogorn said nothing but she was sure he gave her a slight nod. As if greeting her.

What happened after was all a blur. She could only focus on her rapidly beating heart but it seemed like both kings were on good terminus and now they were invited to join the king in his castle.

Roxana knew the king of Vrogorn as Lord Isaac. She knew him to be a scholar. How could he be a king? Was he also in disguise?

Oh lord. Her life was now in his hands if he decided to reveal her identity. She had known him to be a kind man but that didn’t mean he would accept her deception of a king.

Her mind was boggled with worries and thoughts that she had even forgotten the pain in her joints until they arrived at their destination. It was already evening by then.

Vrogorn was known to be a small kingdom. Roxana had thought that Vrogorn composed a threat to them but it seemed to be the other way around. The king of Vrogorn was keener to keep the peace but she had heard the Lords speak that king Isaac would want something to assure him that the peace remained. Something more than signing peace treaties, like joining forces by bringing their families together.

Roxana was too much in her head at that time to think of what that meant exactly. She was still sweating with worry.

King Isaac was very welcoming and they were greeted with drinks and food. Roxana loved food and after the long journey she should be starving but worry made her sick. She sat stiffly at the large table while the rest ate. King Isaac invited them for drinks and entertainment after the food while they could relax. So far he had kept her secret and not looked her way once since he gave her that nod.

Maybe this was a sign for her to escape. She had tested her chances way too many times. She got lost in thoughts, finding ways in her head to escape when something in the corner of her eyes caught her attention. In the far distance where the kings sat, a young lady had joined them.

“That is the King’s daughter.” One of the guards spoke.

“Beautiful.” Another pointed.

She was indeed. Tall and slender, with rich brown silky hair and a heart-shaped face complimented by hazel eyes and blushing lips. King Isaac seemed to introduce her to Alexander who took her hand and kissed her knuckles. A blush crept across her cheeks.

“Seems like we will be joining the two kingdoms by joining two people.” Gary sipped his wine.

“It is good for His Majesty to get married to stop the rumors and what could be better than a princess?” Peter said.

Roxana felt a stab in her heart. Of course. The King wouldn’t marry anyone less than a Lady. Mostly one of a high ranking and a princess was perfect.

The air felt suddenly heavy as she watched the princess sit with them and have a few words with Alexander. They looked good together. She sat elegantly with straight shoulder and neck. She had the aura of royalty and also the blood of course.

Feeling uncomfortable she looked down at her hands. God, they looked awful. Bruised, scratched, worn with ill-groomed nails. They didn’t look like the hands of a lady.

To hell with Ladies, she thought something burning at the back of her throat. She peaked at Alexander again. The princess poured something into his cup and handed it to him with grace. He took it and thanked her with a smile.

Well, she scoffed inwardly. What a royal thing to do. She could care less about these royals and their royal affairs. Acting with grace and dignity? Right. It wasn’t like she wanted to be a Lady. Having to act properly all the time would suffocate her. She was content this way. But as she told herself those things, a fire of emotions burned in her heart that threatened to consume her.