Deranged Writer's Afterword

" You should really learn some kind of martial art or technique, just swinging around a spear doesn\'t count as training.", Emilia says with a grim expression on her face.

" I\'m working on it... now remind me again why you all are following me ?"

Instead of training in my personal training room, like I usually do today I trained with Max and the rest in the common training hall and I\'ve learned something new about myself.

It seems that I have performance anxiety, having to train while everybody stared at you is not the ideal environment.

....

Also, training is the only area where I have performance issues...

Anyways, we lost track of time as we trained and it\'s getting dark out and Mr. push and run still hasn\'t graced us with his presence.

" We just want to check up on Eric....", Max says while limping a little.

He trained hard today as well, but not as extreme as yesterday.

I try to open the door to my room, but find that it\'s locked. I knock on the door a few times before opening it using my key.

As soon as we enter, we see Eric lying on the bed pretending to be asleep, I mean I did hear sounds when I was opening the door.

" I know you\'re awake...", I say while pushing him out of the bed.

Now I\'m not petty like Abigail, I\'m just pushing him to wake him up, that\'s it.

Eric grunts something and then, stands up on his own.

~~~~

Everybody leaves after checking up on Eric, in like fifteen minutes. After they leave I go to freshen up and take a very long bath...to relieve myself.

After that I go to bed directly.

Just as I was falling asleep, Eric\'s voice wakes me up,

" I\'m sorry...."

" it\'s fine, go to sleep.", I answer back yawning.

" I felt humiliated... and scared."

Of course, he wasn\'t gonna stop now.

I sigh and get up from my bed to properly face him,

" Why ?", I ask casually.

Eric struggles to find an answer for awhile, I wait patiently for his answer.

" Well... because I am gay..."

....

No, this wasn\'t it.

Eric looks as if he\'s describing a fatal disease he had, he\'s not even able look me in the eye. I don\'t like the direction in which this is going, if Eric becomes too vulnerable and unstable, he naturally becomes easy prey for the angels and I can\'t have that.

" Why\'re you saying it like it\'s something bad ?", I ask gently.. I think.

" Because it is...-----", Eric continues to tell me what happened to him, all the prostitute shenanigans, I listen silently.

This was good, Eric trusted me enough to tell me a little more about himself. That\'s what I call progress.

" For me, being my true self is a sin...because I\'m a monster.... I killed that woman...she had a child.... I don\'t deserve to live. "

Eric wasn\'t making much sense now but as I already knew everything it was fine.

He doesn\'t say anything more and I think on what to say.

...

...

...

...

" I killed my mother.", I say silently.

Seeing the shock on Eric\'s face I smile a little and continued on,

" I didn\'t mean too, it was an accident....but the truth of the matter is that I did kill the woman who gave birth to me. I thought like you too, Eric..... I thought I didn\'t deserve to live but I realized that you..... have to deal with the cards you\'re dealt with, they maybe nice or shitty but there\'s nothing else you can do but face them."

I stare at Eric who still seemed shocked,

" I can\'t change the past...no matter how much I want to, nor can you... so all we can do right now...is try to be better."

I lay back on the bed and throw my blanket over my face,

" Good night.", I leave a still dazed Eric with those two words and drift off into the world of dreams.

~~~~

I don\'t want to wake up.

What the fuck is wrong with me ?

Why would I say all that to Eric yesterday....

I find a hand patting me, trying to wake me up and I open my eyes to find Eric before me.

Of course, who else would it fucking be ?

" You\'re going to be late...", Eric mutters while packing his bag.

I get up, yawing and get ready in a jiffy and the both of us start walking towards our classroom.

On the way, Eric says,

" I\'ll try..."

" What ?", I ask back confused.

" I\'ll try to be better."

~~~~

It seems that our conversation last night did fortunately have some kind of effect as Eric ignores all the gazes on him as we enter the class together.

I don\'t why but ever since the blackboard incident Katherine has been sitting next to me. Is she concerned.... or does she have sort of hidden agenda ?

In the novel, Katherine was a cold and calculative character so it was entirely possible... but the Katherine in front of me hasn\'t developed into that version just yet.... should I mold her to my liking.... Nah, that\'s not a good idea.

The class went about as normal for the first fifteen minutes, but then got interrupted by a man that looked like one of those cliché bodyguards from movies.

" I\'m here for Eric Grey.", the man says while handing a piece of paper to the teacher.

The teacher reads the paper thoroughly and ask Eric to go with the man, he gets and starts to do just that. Our eyes meet for a split second and I don\'t miss the fear in his eyes.

~~~~

That day after class finished for the day, all of us head towards my room to see what was up with Eric. He hadn\'t returned the whole day.

I open the door, but Eric wasn\'t inside the room.

We search every nook and corner of the room, but everything that belonged to him had vanished along with him.

It was as if the person, \'Eric Grey\' had not existed from the beginning, as if he was just a figment of our very vivid imagination.

~~~~