Deranged Writer's Afterword

16 YEARS AGO

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Lecia\'s Pov

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I wake up panting and heaving, my entire body is covered in sweat.

\'It\'s that same dream again\', I think while silently getting up from the bed so as to not wake the others.

Every night since I came to this orphanage, I\'ve been having the same recurring nightmare.

In the dream, I jump off a mountain and kill myself.

I know that it\'s silly to be so afraid of what happens in a dream but it just felt.... so real.

I walk to the kitchen and find myself a glass of water.

I miss my family, sometimes I like to pretend that they\'re still with me, but in the end that\'s all that is, pretend. They\'re dead and won\'t be coming back anytime soon.

I wonder if the me in the dream who jumps off meets our family in the afterlife.

I silently watch the silver glint of knife in the kitchen. I start heading towards it in a trance but stop myself as I hear the someone ringing the doorbell.

How odd.

Why would someone come to the orphanage at midnight ?

I head to the door and peer through the hole and find a woman walking with her back turned around the orphanage.

Just as I was wondering, who she was... I hear the cries of a baby close to me.

I open the door, using the key under the mat and gasp at the sight before me.

A baby lay on outside our door. on our carpet crying. There was some blood on him as well.

I take him and the necklace lying near him in my arms and start running towards the retreating figure of the lady.

The lady was limping slightly as if she was wounded.

I gulp down the saliva in my mouth, I was afraid... but this isn\'t right. A baby shouldn\'t grow up in that stupid place.

I reach the lady and say,

\'\' You forgot your baby, miss.\'\'

The woman finally turns around.

I could see the tears flowing down from her face, she was crying.

If she\'s sad.... then why\'d she abandon her baby ?

She starts walking towards me in short steps.

I take a few steps back in fear.

The woman looked dangerous, she looked fit but not too muscular. There was something about her that just made me feel afraid.

Maybe I shouldn\'t have done this.

The women had short black hair and eyes of the same color.

She bends down and I ready myself to punch her.... but instead of doing anything to me, she kisses the baby on the forehead and take a few steps back.

\'\' Please take care of him.\'\', saying this she just walks away.

I want to shout, \' WHY CAN\'T YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM ?\' but I couldn\'t.

I look at her figure in the distance and let out a little sigh.

I then look at the baby in my arms, he\'s sleeping.

How did he sleep so fast ?

Babies sure are weird.

I felt pity as I saw him sleeping so peacefully in my arms.

\'\' Don\'t worry, I\'ll take care of you.\'\', saying this I bump my forehead with his.

I don\'t take him inside the orphanage and leave him on the carpet once again and ring the door bell multiple times. If caretaker Mark finds out that I was awake during the night, he\'d probably scold me.

After ringing the door bell enough times, I go inside and lock the door and hide near the stairs.

After two minutes they come and find the baby and take him inside.

I go back to bed after making sure of this.

Lying on bed I think about how that baby will never receive love from his family ever again and would have live with the fact that they abandoned him every single day.

...

I was loved by my family and when they were killed... I was.. no still am heartbroken. So what would this baby feel...

.....

\' It\'s decided then.\', I think as I raise my hands and make a fist.

If he doesn\'t have family to love and care for him.... then I\'ll become his family.

We can help and take care of each other.... just like sibling-

I remember Adam then and feel sadness once again... My family wouldn\'t want me to abandon a baby just because I couldn\'t get over their deaths.

I don\'t think I ever will be over their deaths and that\'s the point.... they will always remain inside my heart.

Excited about the future, I slowly fall asleep.

~~~~

\'\' That\'s it. ?\'\', Adam asks

I was angry and surprised at all the secrets that he kept from me... but I don\'t have the right to be angry at him... since I\'ve been keeping this secret for more then a decade.

I nod my head and wait for him to react in some manner.

I wanted to tell him about this a long time ago.... but I just couldn\'t make myself to say it to him.

What if he goes searching for his mother and finds her only to be disappointed.

I knew that... hiding this wasn\'t right but deep down I think I was afraid that what if he finds his family and doesn\'t need me anymore...

I\'m ashamed of even thinking such a thought.

\'\' I see.\'\', Adam says and gets up and heads back to his room.

He\'s angry. I can feel it.

I look down at the floor and feel shame creeping inside my heart.

\'\' Ummm- could you show us where the rooms are ?\'\', I look up at Eric and say in voice that I think is normal.

\'\' Sure, follow me.\'\'

~~~~

Two days have passed since Lecia dropped that nuke on me.

I\'m not angry... it\'s just a lot to process.

I don\'t really care about my mother or her whereabouts. I was upset at the fact that Lecia had lied to me all these years.

I mean... I haven\'t told her that I\'m the author of this world.. but that\'s a different matter okay ?

I haven\'t had the chance to talk to her since then... I\'m not avoiding her... I just had some stuff to do on Sunday.

I\'m in class right now... so I can probably talk to Lecia next Friday or something.

Class finishes up at 1:00 pm like always and I start heading to the cafeteria.

But as soon as I got out of the classroom, I\'m ambushed by Emilia.

\'\' Adam, could you come with me for sec ?\'\', she asks

I raise my eyebrows and ask, \'\' What\'s up ?\'\'

\'\' I don\'t know... they said to bring you as well.\'\'

I wanted to ask her who this, \' they\' was but it\'s probably Max and the rest.

Why do they want to meet up with me ?

I nod my head and walk beside Emilia to Liam\'s quarters.

\'\' Why are we here ?\'\', I ask perplexed.

Emilia has the same confused look on her face.

\'\' I don\'t know.\'\', she answers back.

We knock on Liam\'s door and it opens.

The whole gang\'s inside.

Max, Eric, Katherine and even Liam Wood, our training instructor.

They all have puzzled expressions on their faces, except a single person.

Katherine. She had a determined look in her eyes,

As soon we close the door behind us.

She points her finger at me and says,

\'\' He\'s responsible for the murders.\'\'

....

.....

Why does this always happen to me ?.....

I\'m fucked.... yet again.

~~~~