Deranged Writer's Afterword

Chapter 29 Trauma



Lecia opens her eyes.

They\'re just like I remember them.

Kind.... and sometimes annoying.

Her eyes finally fall on me,

\'\' X ?\'\'

\'\' Lecia.\'\', I answer back with a smile.

She struggles to get up, I help her up and asks Amanda, who appeared shocked to bring me a glass of water.

After she completely drinks the water, I ask her,

\'\' Do you remember anything ?\'\'

\'\' I-\'\', she tries to answer but couldn\'t.

Had she forgotten ?

But I understand that she still remembers, as her expression strains and her eyes are filled with tears,

She tells me with tears falling down her face,

\'\' I\'m sorry ,X.... because of me... you suffered so much.\'\'

How selfless.

\'\' I didn\'t suffer... Mark\'s dead, Lecia.\'\'

\'\' ….how ?\'\'

\'\' A mysterious man saved us..... so you can be happy now.. we can be a family again...\'\'

\'\' What ?\'\'

Instead of smiling as I had expected, Lecia looks...sad.

\'\' Don\'t be sad, Lecia... Mark\'s dead, so you can be happy again.\'\', I say again.

Her brows furrow and she starts screaming at me,

\'\' DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING JUST GOES AWAY--\'\', I can\'t understand anything she says after that as she starts sobbing as well.

\'\' I\'m sorr-\'\', I begin to speak but Amanda interrupts me by saying,

\'\' I think you should leave for a while.\'\'

What?

Why ?

Did I do something wrong ?

I just wanted her to be happy again.

I wanted to stay and apologize but before I can, Ken drags me away.

~~~~

We were sitting in a bench near the garden beside the mansion.

I\'m confused.

Ken is sitting beside me, staring at the patch of roses in front of us.

\'\' There\'s something wrong with you, master.\'\'

Huh ?

\'\' What ?\'\', I ask slightly confused.

\'\' You seem to lack something.... something that makes a human....a human, it might because of how troubling your last life was-\'\'

\'\' What ?!\'\'

Ken stops speaking and a smile appears on his face,

\'\' We know everything, we know that you created this world, we know how you killed Mark and we also know how you got that artifact.\'\'

\'\' H-how ?\'\', I manage to mumble back.

\'\' We\'re the highest ranked ascaris in the demon king\'s collection, once we get contracted, we get full access to our master\'s memories.\'\'

Impossible.

I never mentioned anything of this sort in the novel.

In the novel, I briefly mentioned about the existence of the ascaris once or twice, they were never really that important to the plot.

\'\' Can every ascaris access their master\'s memories ?\'\'

Ken shakes his head,

\'\' Only high ranked ones can.\'\'

How fascinating.....

To think there was something that even, I, the author didn\'t know..

Of course, I wouldn\'t know something like this since I just mentioned the ascaris as, spies in the novel, their abilities weren\'t specified.... is there anything else that I\'m not aware of ?

That aside, this situation was truly convenient,

I don\'t have to worry about them betraying me since I was their master.

They maybe the only two people in this world who ever knows, the \' real me\'

\'\' Do you hate me ?\'\', I ask him silently.

\'\' Why would I hate you, master ?\'\'

\'\' I made it so that you\'re entire race almost went extinct-\'\'

He cuts me off and says in a solemn tone,

\'\' I don\'t hate you for any of those things... if anything the only reason I exist is because of you. So, I\'m grateful to you.\'\'

I\'m slightly embarrassed at his words.

Wait.

This isn\'t what\'s important right now... I need to find a way to make Lecia happy again.

\'\' How do I make her happy again ?\'\', I ask Ken.

\'\' There\'s nothing you can do, give her some time to heal.\'\'

\'\' But Lecia is a special case isn\'t she ?... not many go through what she went through..\'\'

Ken lets out a deep sigh and turns his head towards the roses yet again.

\'\' For a person who\'s mentally more than 40 years old, you can be quite ignorant master.\'\'

\'\' What?..\'\'

\'\' Lecia isn\'t a special case... incidents like this happen in a massive scale all over the world.. the statistics would shock you, but do you want to know something even more shocking?\'\'

I nod my head at his question.

\'\' In some cases, the victims are blamed... it could be something as ridiculous as the way the victim stared at the assailant, or what the victim wore... instead of helping the victims, some even shame them.... In some cases the person who should be punished, doesn\'t even get punished.\'\'

Ken looks directly at me and says in a serious voice,

\'\' The best thing you can do for Lecia right now, is give her some space ,time and be there for her when she asks for your help.\'\'

A petal on one of the roses slowly falls down along with his words.

\'\' I understand.\'\', I say, my eyes fixed on the fallen petal.

How could I ever be so stupid ?

Due to my excitement, I forgot all that Lecia had to go through. Just because Mark was dead... didn\'t mean that she would return to normal.

The process of healing does not end when the wounds are no longer visible...… it ends when the wounds no longer ache.

I stand up from the bench and go towards the patch of roses.

Lecia loved flowers..

I pluck one of the roses and head back inside the mansion.

A smile forms on Ken\'s face as he sees me going back inside.

~~~~

Lecia wakes up from her sleep.

She was sweating tremendously as she just had a nightmare...

Her body felt weak.

Every time she closed her eyes to sleep, she saw his face.

He would always be smiling.... he was smiling when he called her into his office.... he was smiling when he pushed her down...

No matter how much she screamed, no one heard her.

She was all alone.

A sadness that couldn\'t be put into words blooms in Lecia\'s heart.

She sees a strange glint in the dark room, she gets up and walks over to the table where she finds a knife kept along with some fruits.

That maid must have left it there, after Lecia went to sleep.

She takes the knife in her hand and blankly stares at it.

She uses both of her hands to steady the knife and turns it towards her.

It was then that she noticed a piece of paper and a single rose laying at the edge of the table.

She puts the knife down and takes the paper and rose.

Before reading it, she switches on the light in the room.

She takes both the rose and paper, to her bed and reads the words written in it,

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I\'m sorry, sis.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Her hands were shaking, tears were falling down from her eyes...

That\'s right, she wasn\'t alone.

Nobody is truly alone.

~~~~


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