I Fell For My Nemesis

Keith didn\'t have time to look into it until his first break the next day. It looked like a lot of those hobbies either required going outside or buying a lot of stuff for it. 

He brought Joss those books as requested but still had to think of what else she could do. At least he had some time. He didn\'t know how fast she read but those should last her at least a week even if all she did was read. 

Wrong. He was very wrong about that. She finished them all in less than four days!

Since she finished the last one before noon she spent the rest of the day testing out different TV show pilots when she finally got a free trial on a streaming service. She was still watching on her laptop when he arrived and was simultaneously playing games on her phone, likely to have something to do with her hands as she was unable to move much else. 

If Joss needed to have something to do with her hands regularly she should try something like crocheting or origami. Crocheting could get expensive though. 

Paper was cheap. If she used printer paper instead of specialized origami paper she could get a whole lot of it for less than ten bucks at the right place. He would have to bring her some tomorrow. He still remembered how to fold ninja stars from middle school and could show her how. 

Speaking of buying things…had she been able to get groceries at all since her surgery? Or been able to do laundry? She probably needed help with that but hadn\'t wanted to ask and be a bother. 

She had said things like that multiple times but it really wasn\'t a bother. He had wanted to see her anyway and being her personal errand boy gave him the perfect excuse. 

"Do you need any groceries or help with laundry?" Keith asked. 

Joss sighed, which he knew meant yes before she even said anything. "Yeah. I should really stop having so much takeout. I can make you a list. And I could use laundry help too but you really don\'t have to. I can manage."

"That\'s not happening. You\'re using crutches; you can\'t carry anything. Tell me where your laundry basket is and I\'ll bring it with mine when I go to the laundromat."

"…it\'s in the bathroom."

Keith went to go find it and discovered it was a black popup hamper rather than a true basket. That would make things easier. He had one of those too. He could sling one over each shoulder. 

"Thanks, Keith," Joss said softly.

"No problem!" 

She didn\'t send him that grocery list until the next day but when he saw it he frowned. Aside from apples, bananas, and bread everything on it was microwaveable or toaster oven junk. He knew that was all she had to work with but still. She should really be eating better than this while recovering from surgery. At least she was having some fruit. 

Keith decided to be a busybody and get her some canned vegetables too. They were less than eighty cents a can so it wouldn\'t make much of a difference for her grocery bill. 

He arrived at her apartment later than usual laden with things for her. She seemed rather surprised by the vegetables and the ream of paper. 

"I didn\'t ask for these."

"No, but vegetables are important! Oh geez, I\'ve never sounded like such an adult. I didn\'t mean to overstep but you are recovering from surgery and could probably use them," Keith said apologetically. 

Joss scrutinized him. "And the paper?"

"That\'s for origami. I thought it would be a good way to keep your hands busy while you watch TV. I only know how to make ninja stars but I can show you how to do them. I\'m sure you can find all sorts of free tutorials online for anything else. I already folded your laundry for you. Where does everything go? I can put it away too so you don\'t have to strain yourself."

"Behind that curtain in my closet of sorts. Thank you."

Keith was relieved she was getting more used to him doing things to help her out without protesting that he didn\'t need to. That was a good thing. 

He was in the middle of hanging up a blouse when she spoke again several minutes later. "Why are you doing all of this for me? Surely you have better things to be doing with your time."

"I can\'t think of any better way to spend my time than with you."

"That\'s different than doing things for me. I\'m not doing anything to entertain you and you\'re running all of these errands and doing chores like it\'s no big deal. Why?" 

Keith looked at Joss and smiled warmly despite the ache in his heart seeing the genuine confusion on her face. She really didn\'t get it, did she? She didn\'t understand that she deserved to be helped when she was having a hard time. 

"I don\'t need you to entertain me. I just need you to be happy and taken care of," he said honestly. 

"Why?" she repeated. 

Because he liked her more than he had ever liked anyone. But he couldn\'t force the words out. Not like this. If he was going to tell her the truth about his feelings it couldn\'t be now. It would have to be when she was doing better. 

"Because you\'re my best friend, Joss. I take care of my friends."

"You go far and beyond the call of duty. I\'ve never been taken care of like this in my life," Joss said with a sense of disbelieving wonder about her. 

Yet another similarity between her and Frostine. Neither of them had anyone watching out for them. But that wasn\'t true anymore, at least in Joss\'s case. He wasn\'t the most reliable person in the world but she had him. 

"You don\'t have to worry about that anymore," Keith said lightly. 

Her words saddened him though. He knew what that was like. Being alone…not having anyone who truly cared about you…having to deal with things yourself. No wonder she was so independent. 

Joss didn\'t have to live like that though. And neither did he. He was certain that if the situations were reversed that she would do the same for him. It was simply the kind of person she was. A helper. But even helpers needed to be helped sometimes. 

"I don\'t understand," she admitted. 

Keith was already back to hanging up laundry. "What\'s not to understand?" 

"All of this. I\'m not…I\'m not worth this. You\'re doing too much for me and I don\'t want you to feel burdened or get sick of me since I\'m mostly immobilized right now. You can go home. We can hang out again once I\'m recovered."

"I don\'t want to go months without seeing you! And I don\'t feel burdened at all. You\'re the one who said you could never get sick of me. So why can\'t you believe the same in reverse?"

Joss blinked at him as if the thought had never occurred to her. Did she think so little of herself? She usually seemed so self-assured. Was that all a front? What on earth went on inside that woman\'s head?

"You like me that much?"

Keith\'s heart hammered against his ribs. He had to play it cool here. He couldn\'t let her know how much he liked her in a not-so-friendly way. 

"Duh," he said, drawing out the word. "We wouldn\'t be best friends if I didn\'t."

"Keith, I…" Joss faltered. 

"Yeah?"

"Never mind. Can you show me how to do those ninja stars after you\'re done with that?"

Keith was dying to know what she had been about to say but afraid to push it. He turned to smile at her. "Of course. I\'ll need to put the groceries away too though. You take it easy and get back to your show. I\'ll be over there soon."

"Alright. Thanks," Joss said softly.

He had never done a load of women\'s laundry before this and was slightly embarrassed but he had lived with enough foster sisters over the years that it wasn\'t that big of a deal. He didn\'t want to make her feel worse so he acted like this was a perfectly normal thing to do. 

Finding space in the tiny fridge and "pantry" (which was just a couple of storage bins with food boxes in them) was more difficult. How on earth did she live like this? 

Joss could probably afford better even if she didn\'t want roommates. She had a master\'s degree for crying out loud! So why choose to live in a shoebox? He couldn\'t understand the rationale behind that at all. 

He had learned more about the sort of person she was in the past week than he had in all the time they had known each other. And he wasn\'t sure how to feel about the picture it was painting. Something had seriously hurt her at some point for her to be like this. 

Not having any real roots. Constantly keeping herself busy. Being fiercely independent and not wanting to bother anyone else with her problems while always helping other people with theirs. 

Keith recognized those signs even if he wasn\'t a therapist. That was a coping mechanism. One he was somewhat familiar with.. They were more similar than he originally thought.