Chapter 115 - More Questions Than Answers
No. It couldn\'t be!
Jocelyn tried to think back on everything she knew about both Keith and Delta. He changed jobs frequently, was a busy person, and was looking into settling down into a career.
Delta was thinking about retiring and trying to plan for it. He mentioned he changed jobs a lot too and had a conversation with her that was almost identical to what Keith was telling her right now.
But the two of them had so little in common! All she could think of was blue eyes and the fact that they both teased her aside from the oddness surrounding their very similar career issues happening at the same time.
Keith was way goofier…though hadn\'t Delta said something about how he was more serious as a hero than he was normally? Their voices weren\'t exactly the same either. Keith\'s was animated where Delta\'s was flatter (though not as flat as hers) but that might be a situational issue.
A firefighter. That would be the perfect career for someone with water powers. But hadn\'t Delta dismissed that as a joke at first? Why would he change his mind about that? Though he did say that he had ended up taking her advice when he apologized to her.
Jocelyn narrowed her eyes at Keith. He was about the same height as Delta. Four or five inches taller than her when she wasn\'t wearing heels.
It was hard to tell much more than that simply by looking at him because of the nature of Delta\'s costume. It covered almost his entire face. Was she overthinking things or had she accidentally figured out another colleague\'s secret identity?
Mercury had been bad enough! Knowing who Delta was would be so much worse because of how often she saw him. She hadn\'t seen Mercury in person since the day he needed her help rescuing his wife.
And worse…worse…if Delta was Keith that meant the two people she interacted with the most were the same person! How was she supposed to deal with that when she couldn\'t tell him what she knew in either context? Especially since they had started seeing each other more often.
Jocelyn didn\'t want to ruin their friendship. Not when it was the only one she had.
But how was she supposed to handle having not only her own secret identity but his hanging over her head? What could she even do about that?
"Joss?" Keith asked in concern. "Are you alright?"
"I\'m fine! Sorry. I think that would be a great option for you. I just spaced out for a second there," Jocelyn lied.
She hated lying. Unfortunately, the truth didn\'t seem to be an option right now. She didn\'t want him to freak out on her. If someone figured out her secret identity she would be upset. So why wouldn\'t he be?
She couldn\'t do anything to upset him. She wasn\'t 100% positive anyway. This was all speculation. It could be a coincidence. But her track record made it hard for her to think that way. She had guessed that Mercury and Nox were romantically involved and she had been right.
Keith smiled at her, utterly unsuspicious. "No worries. I\'m glad you think so. I need to start studying for exams but everyone needs to take time to have fun now and then. We should do something like this again next week. Do weeknights work better?"
"Yes," Jocelyn said faintly.
Right. Preparing for the future meant she would see him less as Delta. If she only saw him in one context she would be less likely to slip up, wouldn\'t she?
This would be fine. She hadn\'t told anyone about Mercury—including Delta, who had brought him up the other day—so if she could do that she could do this. Whatever it took to keep the one precious friendship she had.
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Keith\'s outing with Joss left him with more questions than answers about his friend. He had wanted to get to know her better but had been shocked at some of the new information. Like her outstanding performance in Dance Dance Revolution without ever having played it before.
He wouldn\'t have pegged her as the physically active type. Though finding out she made her own puzzles as a child wasn\'t as surprising. That seemed like the sort of thing a smart person would do.
She had been very strategic with the jackpot games that required you to hit a certain tiny slot. Her sense of timing was impeccable. She was good at a lot of games like that but not as good at things that required aiming at a target. Her newbie status definitely showed there.
It truly was insane how good she was at most of the games she played considering she had never been to an arcade before. He had never seen anything like it.
Joss had a curious sense of wonder about her as they made their way through the arcade. That was the only thing that would truly give her away as never having been there before. It was somehow detached though.
Keith had noticed she didn\'t seem disappointed when she failed or pleased when she succeeded. She sort of just did her thing in a matter-of-fact way as if it didn\'t matter one way or the other.
He definitely got the impression she was enjoying herself though. He couldn\'t quite say how he knew since she didn\'t get excited or anything. He just did.
She laughed and smiled like anyone else (though she had been slow to warm up to him in the beginning) but she wasn\'t overly enthusiastic. That wasn\'t how she operated. Honestly, he had no idea what was going on inside that woman\'s head.
Despite her nonchalance about winning or losing games she had still wanted to get something for the kids she worked with. She could have gotten something for herself but the thought didn\'t seem to have even crossed her mind. He knew she was a caring person so it made sense.
Joss had shared food with him before when he mentioned he was hungry but she never specifically went out of her way to get him something before today. The sandwich had been unexpected.
When was the last time somebody did something for him simply because they thought it would help him out? Aside from her, that is.
Keith supposed there was also Frostine with the kettle corn but that was incidental. She happened to run into him when she had way too much to finish off herself and they ate together often so it wasn\'t that unexpected.
That wasn\'t the same. Joss had purposely gone out of her way to get him food because she thought he needed it. That sort of consideration was foreign to him. She was looking out for him because she wanted to. Had anyone else ever done that? He honestly couldn\'t remember.
She was as kind as she was confusing. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know everything.
Keith wanted to get closer to Joss. He knew it wasn\'t realistic while he was still traipsing around as Delta but he was allowed to do some things for himself, wasn\'t he? Like Frostine said, they were all so replaceable. If he wasn\'t there someone else would take his place.
He needed people to like him in order to be satisfied but it was different with a carefully crafted public persona than it was with being himself. The latter was more meaningful somehow.
Maybe he didn\'t need to be adored by the masses if there was one person who genuinely wanted him around and cared what happened to him. It would be quite a shift in his usual thinking but he would have to get used to that sort of thing if he was going to retire.
Retirement loomed over him. He really needed to get cracking on everything he had to do for that.
Keith had already looked into the study materials for the firefighter exams and how to join up with a volunteer fire department. His application was in and he was waiting to hear back. If they accepted him, he had an awful lot of training to do so he probably wouldn\'t be able to do much hero work.
After that he would need to commit to certain volunteer shifts, which would also cut into his hero work. He had decided he wouldn\'t take the firefighter exam until he had done all of his volunteer firefighter training and had been a part of a volunteer fire department for a few months so his application looked better. Whatever it took to increase his chances.
He was determined to make this work no matter how long it took. He needed to plan for his future.
Twenty-five wasn\'t too late for that. Joss said that people in their fifties changed careers all the time. It wasn\'t too late for him to buckle down and get serious instead of skating (or in his case he should say rollerblading) by.
He would still be helping people but he would be helping himself too. There was nothing wrong with that. Goodness knows no one else was doing it.
No, that wasn\'t true anymore. Joss was.. And he appreciated that more than he could say.