Chapter 441 I Need You
"You’ve told me quite a bit. And, I don’t fault you for your failures." Yan Zaizen said, his tone was direct and honest. He felt no blame towards Shin Xuanji for the fate of his clansmen. However, his words did little to alleviate the guilt within Shin Xuanji’s heart.
It wasn’t just Yan Zaizen’s family lineage that had been sent away, but his close friend, Yan Muzen. They were brothers in arms, traveling the dangerous world and fighting together. Their relationship was far deeper than his and Yan Zaizen.
While Yan Zaizen had saved his life, was his Junior from the same master, their relationship could only be defined by this. Their friendly display was more so for Lin Feilin than for themselves.
He could sense that Yan Zaizen may have feelings of togetherness and irrevocable connection due to their master, but it was merely this.
This was the truth. Yan Zaizen didn’t feel close to Shin Xuanji as he did Lin Feilin. In fact, thoughts of killing him in the past had crossed his mind a few times. He had only given him face, saving his life, bestowing him his Dao, for their Master and Lin Feilin who saved his life. He was important to them, so he respected him.
Merely this.
So, he spoke frankly. "I’ll handle my clan’s matters, you don’t have to worry. However," his eyes glinted with a sharpness. The faint illuminating light of amber-gold emitted from his eyes, containing a domineering will and peerless force. He continued, "You explained what happened, but you haven’t explained why you made my clan infamous outlaws to the entire realm. Hunted like animals, to be killed on sight."
The chilling intent within his voice caused Shin Xuanji’s face to fall, darkening like the very night they stood in. For several moments, there was silence. Their steps were the only sounds echoing in the streets. It seemed at this time of night, the worldly society had receded into the comfort and safety of their homes.
Shin Xuanji lifted his chin, his eyes gazing at the cloudless sky, and observed the starry world above. How beautiful it was, was his only thoughts.
"..." Yan Zaizen kept his silence as well. He felt there was more to the story. The only thing he was wondering was whether it was relevant or not. If his entire clan had already left the Xiantu Realm and entered Hell, then hunting them down in this realm was pointless.
This obviously didn’t add up.
It was only after several minutes did Shin Xuanji sigh. It was a deep sigh filled with melancholy and regret. "I...the truth i-" Just as he was about to explain, Yan Zaizen interrupted him.
"It’s fine. You don’t have to answer, nor did I ask for one." His words were calm and carried a faint trace of indifference.
Shin Xuanji was momentarily stunned. Only then did he recall the tone and word choice of Yan Zaizen. Indeed, he had merely stated a fact. He never asked him what had happened. He couldn’t help but gaze at this Junior Brother of his.
Yan Zaizen spoke, as if speaking to himself, "What matters the most isn’t the complicated past, but a wanted future. For now, I just want to achieve my goals, not dwell on things unable to be changed." His Dao had always been like that.
A mindset that could be summed up to: Forward, always.
If one asked whether Yan Zaizen understood the word "regret", they would find out that he did, but he most certainly never experienced it. When he was younger, this was the case even then. He did all sorts of things for Ya Qinqan, lowering his status and worth to the world, yet he never felt an ounce of regret.
While, at that time, he was muddle-headed and simple, he still held these thoughts that regret was a meaningless feeling. If he wanted to change the past, then he would dedicate his life to being able to do so. If he died in failure, then he died.
He knew himself more than anyone else. Not only did he reach the Paragon Soul Realm, a realm defined by introspective comprehension of self, but he formed a Dao.
Shin Xuanji eyes grew hazy. Yan Zaizen’s words seemed to contain a profound principle of self. As someone who similarly constructed a Sovereign’s Dao, he felt as if there was something missing. Was it regret? Could regret be like sandbags tied to the ankles to a drowning mortal?
As he felt himself lost in thought, the two stopped. They had already left the capital at some point, their steps carried them an exceptional distance. Before them was a small-sized lake that reflected the moon. It was silver and resplendent. Such beauty.
"The world we live in is dangerous. Everyone seeks for betterment, struggling to reach the peak, or simply to be left in peace but I’ve always and merely only wanted to rule my own fate." Yan Zaizen kneeled next to the lake, his fingers gently tracing its waters. The ripples formed seemed to affect every aspect of the lake.
Shin Xuanji’s eyes regained its normalcy. He stood beside the lake, upright and strong. His silhouette reflected by the faint moonlight revealed a figure that had built his will step by step, corpse by corpse.
A bloody glow emanated from his eyes. Within that glow was a scene of countless men and women losing their lives, dying horrific and terrifying deaths in pursuit of all sorts of things...wealth...power...love...
They each seemed to embody the totality of Shin Xuanji’s self. The Dao of Sovereign Slaughter. To rule the world, obtain it all, by eliminating all in his path.
"I want it all. I wanted it all. I must have it all." His words were shifting along with his every thought. Then, a male figure entered the glow of his eyes. Out of all those deaths, this figure was the only one smiling and reaching out.
"Desire." A voice echoed, "All those who make the Sovereign’s Dao has it. To an extreme. To control one’s own fate, to have it all regardless of the cost, or to rule beside the one you love by never falling behind. It was insatiable, yet always far-reaching and elusive."
Yan Zaizen and Shin Xuanji lifted their heads simultaneously. Their gazes looking at the silhouette within the moon’s shadow. An imposing, impressive figure descended slowly.
"Wings?" Shin Xuanji frowned observing the figure. His dual-Heavenly Shrines and vital aura was primed to erupt at their greatest might. He felt a sense of shock and unease in his heart. This figure gave him an unfathomable feeling.
Yan Zaizen saw the two wings on its back. They were beautiful and silver, giving off faint radiance of their own. It seemed to contain a power reminiscent to the beginning of the world, yet a chaotic aura of its inevitable end.
Yan Zaizen’s eyes became solemn and flashed interest, "it’s you." His words were filled with all sorts of memories.
It was only then that the man’s figure was fully revealed. A handsome face of the ages, with sharp brows, and bright eyes accompanied by a set of silver wings at his back. His physique was incredibly symmetrically perfect, with every muscle fiber and proportion reaching a pinnacle. This was the characteristics of a unique existence, a Herculean!
"Ezekiel Zatanna Saintora...what do you want?" Yan Zaizen asked, this old friend of his had returned.
Ezekiel responded with three words: "I need you."