The Silly Alchemist

House of Confusion (1)

...Did Ye Lang join the Sacred Light Religion?

The seventh princess shook her head. It was impossible. First, they wouldn’t want to accept Ye Lang, a person who was clueless all the time. And even if they offered, Ye Lang would never agree.

He only wanted to be a prodigal son, never siding with any authority or power. This was what he had been doing all his life!

However, the seventh princess then remembered something else. Ye Lang was earning money- and that contradicted with his dreams of being a prodigal son. Would that mean... “Settle down! One by one! Please get in line, you’ll get your turn!” roared the Light Riders, calming the crowd down.

“Mm, calm down, one by one, please. All of you are the same, if it’s nothing urgent, a short wait wouldn’t matter,” Ye Lang added, “Please get in line... Alright, what about I assign numbers to everyone. Just come in when your number is called.”

A number system was great. This prevented other people from cutting queue, and anyone who couldn’t get their turn could come the next day without having to wait again!

Ye Lang had already implemented the number system, but it didn’t work. Everyone still waited outside- but at least cutting queue was rare in the mainland. “Brother, why don’t you let them wait inside?” asked Ye Lanyu curiously. Looking at the House of Confusion, it was a huge mansion. It must accommodate many people. Why did he let them wait outside?

“It’s full of people inside too!” Ye Lang said mildly.

While the chances of getting a rare disease were low, it still added up to a huge number of patients when you counted them all across the mainland!

Ye Lang didn’t have as many people before this, but after what just happened, the number of patients had accumulated.

Fortunately, these diseases could be categorised! The same treatment could often be used for multiple diseases- as long as a person had the cure, curing a complex disease would be as easy as a common cold.

Ye Lang was the one who had come up with all these treatments. He never hid them either, generously teaching all the doctors from Sheng City. He thought them simple concepts from traditional Chinese medicine too.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to teach, there were just concepts they might not understand. They already had very deep thoughts and opinions on their own medical field so using alchemy concepts to explain was easier for them to accept.

In general, Ye Lang did his best to use alchemy to teach the treatment methods. Unfortunately, it was still difficult for them to learn even if he was using terms from alchemy.

No one’s understanding and mastery of alchemy were as brilliant as Ye Lang, so they were having troubles producing results as great as his.

Finally, Ye Lang set up an alchemy formation for concentrating magic and alchemy energy within Miracle District. The magical energy there was much more powerful than other places, so medical treatments would always be double the original results- this allowed his doctors to treat patients with the same efficacy he had.

And that was why Miracle District’s name had another meaning: not only was it a memorial for the miracle that had happened, it was a place that birthed miracles. “There are so many of them! Is it too difficult for you?” Ye Lanyu grabbed Ye Lang’s hand, looking at him pitifully.

“I’m alright, I’m not tired. I’ll get good karma for saving a life... I was like this once too... Hehe...” Ye Lang chuckled. He recalled how he was too a terminally ill patient in his past life. He would’ve died if he hadn’t encountered the martial arts treasury- but he died anyway.

That was why he could feel what the patients felt. He would never forget how hopeless, how tiring it was. That was why he wanted to treat them all! “You were what?” asked Ye Lanyu and the seventh princess in confusion... Sick? He’d never been sick, that couldn’t be right. The most serious incident was when he was struck by lightning.

“Nevermind. Who’s the patient you mentioned? I hope it’s not you three! Lady problems? I can treat those too, but you think it’d be awkward for us?” asked Ye Lang, changing the topic.

“Get lost!!” blushed the three girls. “I might just punch you! I was referring to this old woman here, and this is her son Chen Pi!”

“Chen Pi?!” Ye Lang paused to look at Chen Pi, “You should be called Chen Mei instead, you’re so dark!”

[Note: Mei 煤 = coal]

“...”

“I can’t believe you can joke at a time like this. Take a look at his mom, he’d already carried her around for five years, no one has been able to diagnose her,” said the seventh princess, pinching him. Her tone sounded like a wife indeed.

Yep, wife. Not a girlfriend.

Ye Lang looked at her, took her pulse, then said, “Oh, it’s not serious. She needs a dogskin patch, a few days’ rest and she’ll be alright!”

“?!” Chen Pi didn’t know what a dogskin patch was, but it was enough for him to hear the genius doctor say there was nothing wrong with his mother. “Doctor, can you really cure my mother?”

“You can choose not to believe me, I don’t mind! It doesn’t matter if you don’t come in either! Fatty, do you have any food with you? I haven’t eaten your cooking in so long,” Ye Lang shrugged, then dragged Xiaoyan inside to beg her for food.

Everyone was stunned. They couldn’t believe their respectable doctor was acting like a child...

“Here! I knew you would want something to eat! Wait, you said you haven’t eaten my cooking in a long time... Didn’t I prepare a year’s worth of food for you? Have you eaten all of it??” asked Xiaoyan. They were already inside the House of Confusion.

The people outside looked at each other, then continued to mind their business. The Light Riders sent people to fix the gates.

“Aargh...” Ye Lang couldn’t talk with his face stuffed with cakes.

“We’ll talk when you’ve finished. Slow down or you’ll choke! Here, have some juice!” Zhen Xiaoyan produced an elegant flask, twisting it open. She gave the flask to Ye Lang. She had personally juiced some fruits into this flask.

“Mmph...” Zhen Xiaoyan had just finished her sentence when Ye Lang choked. He snatched the flask, chugging the juice down.