Am I A God?

Chapter 186: The Kris Wu of Cats

Translator: Sparrow Translations Editor: Sparrow Translations

“Improve my attractiveness? How am I supposed to do that?” Matcha’s eyes glittered with excitement.

“Improve ...” Zhao Yao stared at Matcha from head to toe, then from toe to head. He commented, “No, no. You have already reached the pinnacle in terms of your looks. You are the Kris Wu of cats. There is no room for improvement in terms of your appearance.”

“Huh?” Matcha stared at Zhao Yao wide-eyed and found it a little hard to believe, “I know that I am handsome, but am I really that handsome?”

“Yes!” Zhao Yao began pointing his fingers at the other cats in the café, “Look at Roly Poly, then look at Mango ... D*mn it, Mango! Get down now!”

Matcha obeyed Zhao Yao’s instructions and first set his eyes on Roly Poly which was resting on the table by the curtains. His huge belly dropped over and covered his hind legs. It was impossible to see his paws. He was just a gigantic balloon.

Matcha then turned his neck and fixed his gaze on Mango, which was resting underneath the table. Mango was busy chewing a giant piece of tissue and was dragged out from under the table by Zhao Yao.

When Mango felt Zhao Yao’s hand clutching his body, he started to bawl and scream incessantly.

“D*mn it, Mango. Can you stop making so much noise?”

“From the looks of it, I am really the best-looking cat on the surface of Earth.” A giant smile appeared on Matcha’s face as he remained immersed in his fantasy daydreams. “D*mn it. There are no female cats in this world worthy of my handsome features. Zhao Yao, you don’t have to persuade me anymore. I realize that Princess Qian does not even deserve me. I will continue to wait for the love that belongs to me.”

Zhao Yao folded his arms as he saw Matcha walked towards the corner of the café. Zhao Yao sighed as he lost an opportunity to make use of Matcha.

“How did this cat get this extreme self-confidence? Why do I find this quite familiar?” Zhao Yao thought, “Never mind, this might actually be a good thing. Matcha will no longer be distracted and can focus on his work for the next week or two. I’ll use my idea in the future.”

Soon, it was time to close the café. Zhao Yao stood on his feet and began shutting down his computer. However, Rice Cake was staring at the computer with a pair of longing eyes.

She stared at Zhao Yao with her puss in boots eyes and pleaded, “Zhao Yao, please play one more round.”

“I’m not playing anymore.”

“Please play one more round. We will leave the moment you die in the game.”

Zhao Yao rolled his eyes and said, “You said that it was gonna be the last round five rounds ago. Stop bullshitting.”

“Noooo!” Rice Cake began rolling her body around the table in protest, “This will really be the last round! I will be satisfied even if you die at the beginning of the game when you jump out of the chopper. Please, one more round! I can’t sleep if you don’t play one more round.”

Zhao Yao paid no attention to Rice Cake’s pleas and just cradled her in his arms and brought the remaining supercats out of the café, “Let’s go! All of you get out now!”

...

After her tuition lessons, Xiao Yu immediately grabbed her phone and began scrolling through her inbox in WeChat.

At this moment, a fatso emerged from the crowd of students and went up to her, “Xiao Yu, I just bought a new drone. Do you want to come over to my house and play?”

“I’m not interested. Furthermore ...” Xiao Yu glanced at the chubby boy and remarked, “I’m not interested in talking to immature boys like you. Please do not talk to me in the future.”

The chubby boy immediately answered back, “I now receive a monthly pocket money of RMB 500. I’m no longer the kid from kindergarten.”

Xiao Yu was indifferent to his words and replied, “I don’t like people who are fat.”

The chubby boy stood rooted to the ground as Xiao Yu’s words rang in his head. His fragile glass heart had been shattered to pieces by Xiao Yu’s cruel words.

After verbally abusing her friend, Xiao Yu focused her attention back on her phone, “What’s happening? Why isn’t the silly cat hooked anymore? Is it because I didn’t send enough photos?”

Xiao Yu’s original plan was to lure The Strongest Luban by deceiving him with the beautiful cat’s look. From there, she would cheat Matcha of all his money and leave him with nothing.

She spent a long time creating the perfect female cat that Matcha would fall for. She began stalking various cats on Sina Weibo and even consulted Fish Ball for his views and suggestions. She finally settled on a beautiful ragdoll’s photo.

The plan started brilliantly. However, the silly cat seemed to have grown bored of her over the past few days.

Xiao Yu opener her WeChat and realized that Matcha did not send a single message to her.

Her thumbs immediately darted across her phone’s keyboard, as she intended to initiate a conversation with Matcha. However, she suddenly paused in her movements. Her eyes started to shimmer with wisdom.

“No. In a relationship between man and woman, whoever sends out the first text will be the loser. I need to maintain my image as an ‘ice princess’.” With this thought at the back of her head, Xiao Yu tapped on her status with her forehead creased together, “I think I have to resort to this photo. I have been stashing this for a long time.”

Soon, Princess Qian posted a photo with a caption on her status. The caption was the lyrics of a famous Mandarin love song. It read, “Finally, I have learned what it means to love and cherish you. However, you have left me and had disappeared into the seas of people.”

This was accompanied by a photo of a female ragdoll. The cat was standing on the windowsill as it looked out of the window with a pair of sorrowful eyes.

Replies came flooding in the moment she posted the photo.

...

Roly Poly and Matcha were squeezed together in the passenger seat of Zhao Yao’s Panamera. Matcha aimlessly scrolled through WeChat as he sighed in despair, “All these cats look so ordinary. Is there no female cat in this world worthy of me? How can any other male cats survive my lonely life?”

Suddenly, he noticed Princess Qian’s photo in the news feed.

Similarly, Roly Poly was also scrolling through WeChat’s newsfeed. He regularly stopped at Elizabeth, Princess Qian and other female cats’ photos.

“Oh, Princess Qian is so beautiful. However, Elizabeth is just beside me, and we live in the same apartment. There are also a few other beautiful cats in the group. Who should I choose?”

“Oh, Princess Qian just posted something new?”

Meanwhile, Fish Ball was resting on Xiao Yu’s bed while she was away for tuition. He too noticed Princess Qian’s post.

The same thought flashed through their heads when these three horny male cats saw the lyrics underneath the photo.

“She must be talking about me!”

Matcha shook his head helplessly, and left a reply, “Princess Qian, I’m sorry. I know that you are a good cat, but we can never be together.”

Roly Poly’s face lit up instantly, and his fingers immediately darted across the phone’s screen, “Princess Qian, I did not disappear. I’m always here waiting for you. I’ve fallen in love with you the moment I first saw you. Please marry me.”

However, Princess Qian did not reply Roly Poly after quite a while, Roly Poly could not take it and went back to WeChat. Suddenly, he realized he could not view any of her content on his news feed.

He resorted to sending her a private message, “Princess Qian, why are you hiding from me. Do not be afraid. I will always be here waiting for you. I love you!”