Chapter 74 Cannibal And Comedian
Erwin couldn\'t believe his luck. Here he was, in the middle of the woods, having a friendly chat about being eaten alive. What were the odds?
Despite his injured shoulder, he desperately tried to come up with a way to escape. But let\'s face it, he wasn\'t exactly Bear Grylls. Fear consumed him as he asked the dreaded question: "What do you want to eat me?"
The woman\'s response was straight out of a horror movie. "Well, duh. You\'re my prey, so obviously I want to cook and eat you. But I\'m in a bit of a hurry, so I\'ll just have to eat you raw."
Raw? Erwin was starting to feel like he was in a particularly disturbing episode of Man vs. Wild.
"What are you talking about?" Erwin tried to buy some time. "Why do you want to eat me? I\'m just a kid."
Meredith approached him, her eyes fixated on him like he was a juicy steak. "Just a kid? No, no, my dear. You are a delicacy, a meal fit for a queen."
"I\'m flattered," Erwin said sarcastically. "But have you ever heard of Postmates? I could order you a pizza or something."
Meredith laughed, clearly amused by his attempt at humor. "Sorry, kiddo. I\'m more of a meat lover\'s kind of girl. And what is pizza?"
Erwin\'s mind was racing. He needed to find a way out of this mess before he became someone\'s midnight snack. "Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Why do you hunt and eat people?"
Meredith\'s answer was chilling. "I do it because I enjoy it. There\'s nothing like the thrill of the hunt, the taste of fresh human flesh. It\'s like a gourmet meal, but with screaming."
Erwin felt like he was going to be sick. But he refused to give up without a fight. "Please, you don\'t have to do this," he pleaded. "There must be another way. You can get help."
Meredith shook her head, a cold expression on her face. "I don\'t need help. I\'m a hunter, a predator. And you, my dear, are my prey."
Erwin was starting to regret not taking that survivalist course his dad had suggested. But he refused to go down without a fight.
As he tried to move again, he felt a sudden burst of pain in his injured shoulder. "Ow!" he yelled.
Meredith grinned, clearly enjoying his suffering. "Don\'t bother trying to escape," she said. "You won\'t get far. And besides, where would you go? You\'re in the middle of nowhere. No one can hear you scream."
Erwin took a deep breath. He had to keep fighting, to keep trying to escape, even if it meant risking his life. "You know, I read somewhere that human flesh tastes like chicken," he said.
Meredith\'s eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah," Erwin said. "But personally, I think you\'d be better off with a nice salad."
As Meredith approached him again, Erwin braced himself for what was to come. He may not be the most skilled survivalist, but he was determined to go down swinging. Or at least make some bad jokes along the way.
Erwin and Meredith were startled as a woman with blonde hair emerged from the nearby bushes. "Wait a moment," she said, "before you partake of him, may I have some fun with him first?"
Meredith asked with wary. "Who are you?"
The woman grinned mischievously. "Oh, just a fellow traveler passing through. But I couldn\'t resist the opportunity to have a little fun with this one before he meets his fate."
Meredith raised an eyebrow skeptically. "And what kind of \'fun\' do you have in mind?"
The woman\'s smile grew wider. "Oh, nothing too serious. Just a little game of cat and cock. It\'s been ages since I\'ve had such a playmate to play with."
Erwin felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He had stumbled into a situation far more dangerous than he had ever imagined.
Erwin couldn\'t believe what he was hearing. He was stuck in the middle of the forest, injured, and facing a potential dinner date with two crazy women, and the dinner was him. It was like something out of a horror movie, except it wasn\'t even close to Halloween.
The blonde woman stepped closer to him, a wicked grin on her face. "Don\'t worry, kid," she said, winking at him. "I promise to make it quick and painless...ish."
Erwin couldn\'t help but roll his eyes. "Great, just what I needed, a comedian to go with a cannibal." He muttered under his breath.
Meredith looked at him quizzically. "What did you say?"
Erwin quickly backtracked. "Oh, nothing. Just admiring the beautiful scenery."
The blonde woman laughed. "You\'re a funny one, kid. I might just have to keep you around for a while before I eat you."
Erwin felt a flicker of hope. Maybe he could use his sense of humor to get out of this mess. "Sure, why not?" he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I\'m always up for a good laugh, even if it\'s my last one."
Meredith looked at him with a mix of confusion and amusement. "You are an odd one, kid. But I have to admit, you\'re growing on me."
The blonde woman nodded in agreement. "He\'s definitely got some spunk. I like that in my prey."
Erwin found it difficult to come to terms with the fact that he was discussing the prospect of being consumed, but he felt that it was preferable to remaining silent and awaiting his fate. However, if he were to meet his end in such a manner, he would prefer if they devoured him with their lower lips.
At this point, Erwin realized that he had managed to distract the two women for a few seconds, and he needed to take advantage of it. He quickly scanned his surroundings, looking for anything he could use to defend himself or escape.
His eyes landed on a large rock just a few feet away. It wasn\'t much, but it was better than nothing. He slowly shifted his weight, hoping they wouldn\'t notice.
"So, what do you say, kid?" the blonde woman asked, taking a step closer. "You up for a little game of cat and cock?"
Erwin tried to appear calm as he nodded. "Sure, why not? Sounds like fun."
Meredith looked at him skeptically. "You do realize that we\'re talking about your life here, right?"
Erwin shrugged. "Hey, if I\'m going to go out, I might as well go out playing."
The two women laughed, and Erwin took the opportunity to reach for the rock. His fingers wrapped around it just as Meredith turned back to him.
"Ready to play, kiddo?" Blonde asked, her eyes glittering with excitement.
Erwin took a deep breath, trying to control his fear. "Sure, let\'s do this."
She lunged at him, but Erwin swung the rock with all his might, hitting her squarely in the face. She fell back, stunned, and Erwin scrambled to his feet, using the rock to keep the two women at bay.
"Stay back!" he yelled, brandishing the rock like a weapon.
Meredith looked at him with amusement. "Well, well, well. Looks like we\'ve got a fighter on our hands."
Erwin backed away, trying to find a way out of the clearing. He knew he couldn\'t take on both women at once, but he wasn\'t about to give up without a fight.
"Kid, if you want to survive, repeat after me," a voice echoed in Erwin\'s mind, catching him off guard.
\'Who are you?\' Erwin thought back, puzzled.
"I am the spirit of the grimoire. We don\'t have much time. Repeat after me if you don\'t want to be eaten alive," the voice urged urgently. "And make sure to say it loud and clear."
Erwin recalled that the voice was from the grimoire gifted to him by his mother, and he made the decision to place his trust in it. He started to recite the words that were being whispered to him loudly while running away from crazy women.
"Where do you think you\'re going, my masterpieces?" as he was running away, a pink-haired man suddenly appeared in front of causing him to stumble.
\'fucking shit, who is this lunatic now?\' Erwin looked at the newcomer with anger.
The man grinned, his eyes glinting with an unsettling obsession. "Oh, what a fine face you have," he said, taking a step closer to Erwin. "You would make a perfect model for my art."
Erwin felt a shiver run down his spine at the man\'s words. "No thanks," he said sharply, trying to sidestep the man and continue on his way.
The man persisted, blocking Erwin\'s path and making creepy comments about his features. "Come now, don\'t be shy," he said, reaching out to touch Erwin\'s cheek. "You have such exquisite features. I must put your face on canvas." Erwin couldn\'t help but think, \'Yeah, sure, just add me to your creepy serial killer art collection.\'
The blonde woman, with a slightly bruised face from a previous blow, spoke to James. "Leave him be. He belongs to me."
James responded while rubbing Erwin\'s cheeks. "What makes you think that, Alex?" Erwin couldn\'t help but think that this whole situation felt like a really messed up love triangle.
Meredith looked at Alex in shock and asked, "You are Alex?" Alex gazed at her with amusement and replied, "Ah, so you recognized me, Lady Sheena, or should I say, Blood Witch Meredith." Erwin couldn\'t help but think that their banter felt like it belonged in a twisted romantic comedy.
Meredith\'s eyes shined with a dangerous light, and she asked Alex, "You know me?"